When Should You Tell Someone You Have Kids?
Unless you live in a small town, still in university or dating from a pool of friends, majority of those we date will be relative strangers. When dating there is a delicate balance of having fun, enjoying someones company, and trying to get to know someone as quickly as possible so no time is wasted unnecessarily. I have had mixed responses to the question of "When should you tell someone you have kids?". What do you think? How long would you wait to talk about your kids, or how quickly would you like to be made aware of someone's kids?
From the majority of my dating experiences, I have been made aware of a man's children by the 1st date, if not before, which for a women with no children, but open to my future partner already having children, this time frame is comfortable for me. For those who are not open to their partner already having children, the consensuses is they would like to be made aware of children before date 1, to save any time wasted. Recently I didn't find out about a man's children until after 5 dates and one 2 hour long phone conversation. This left me with a bad taste in my mouth. I felt foolish and lied to. It was unfortunate, because he and I had an amazing connection, and if told sooner, I would have been totally on board with his children, in fact, elated.
I understand why he didn't want to tell me, he felt that if I found out about his children, I wouldn't want him. That may have been true but that would be my decision. Waiting longer to tell someone who doesn't want a partner with kids, won't change their mind, it means you may end up with a partner who could hold resentment towards you children! Live a life of abundance, if they aren't OK with your kids, know there will be someone in the future who is. Respect their boundaries and continue on in the dating world until you find someone great for you and your children.
What are your thoughts? I would love to hear from single parents on their experiences and thoughts on this topic when dating. Please Share!