The Truth About Being Single During Social Isolation
As a woman who loves being single, just two weeks ago I thought to myself, "it's going to take someone pretty amazing to make me want to leave this lifestyle." Fast forward one week, and a feeling of loneliness that I haven't felt in a decade, came crashing down on me. Yes, it sure is fun being single; gallivanting around the city, meeting new people and going on fun and interesting dates. But where are those dates when things get hard? They are nowhere. They aren't supposed to be there. Because without knowing it, I created a life surrounded by people, while ironically being completely isolated. This may look different for everyone. There are those who allow work to consume their lives so that they don’t have any time to search for a great partner. And those who have swiped through all of the dating apps just to reset and start again multiple times without truly putting any effort into reaching out to anyone. Then there are those who don't see much of a change in lifestyle with social isolation, because they spend the majority of their time alone already. Don't get me wrong, if this is the lifestyle you wish to live, keep at it! But, if you want more, and COVID-19 has given you a shocking wake up call on what is important in life, continue reading...
It is those relationships with true deep connections that support us during tough times, like those you have with friends and family. But I realized, I am missing that romantic partner who could be there for me when things get rough. Someone to bicker with during social isolation, someone to get bored with, laugh with, melt down with and seek comfort from. After all, isn’t that the ultimate goal? When you are stuck in your home with a person for an indefinite amount of time, how great he looks in a suit, or how beautiful she looks on your arm, doesn’t matter. Their ability and desire to love, care and emotional support you is what matters. How much they can make you laugh. The deep bond that grows as you communicate the fear and loneliness you and they feel. The knowledge that they would be able to take care of you if you were sick. We really come to realize how little societal expectations matter right now.
True, loneliness is not the worst feeling, but it is hard not to allow it and fear to consume us during these hard times. Fear that we may have made the wrong choices in life. Fear that we may be losing time to meet that person to go through the ups and downs with. It is normal to crave affection and a deeper connection with another person, but it starts with us and our choice to take action. This is a time to truly figure out your past habits and patterns in relationships to then design that which we want in our future. The best part of being single is that we are all blank slates. If we are willing to put the work in, we are able to design our future relationships. But this kind of work on ourselves takes time. Fortunately, time is the one commodity most of us have an excess of right now.
You may not have thought about it this way, but we are currently in a time that gives us the most unique opportunity to seek out a romantic partner, but it has an end date. Are you going to utilize this time, or are you going to wait for it to pass by? You are not the only one who has come to the realization that now is the time to invest in finding a partner. Others around the world are thinking the same thing. Those who keep dating on the back burner, serial daters, casual daters and so on, are now bringing it to the forefront of their lives. Not only is it more important to them than ever before, but they are more serious in the relationships they want to build. Right now we are not allowed to touch each other, and this opens us up emotionally to enjoy those wonderful late night phone calls where we truly get to know one another. We have the time and opportunities to talk honestly about what we are looking for. To develop a connection without allowing the physical aspect of dating to influence us. The connection we feel when becoming physically intimate with someone, is a very different connection to that which we feel when we talk about our dreams, goals and past stories with a potential romantic partner. Utilize this unique opportunity while it lasts!
Join us Sunday & Wednesday nights (men only) and Monday & Thursday nights (women only) for our ongoing webinar workshops to utilize this unique dating opportunity. We will discuss the best ways to continue dating through social isolation, while gathering together a community of support and creating purpose in our daily routine to stay mentally healthy. If we "wait for this to all calm down" before we take action, we will be giving into those feelings of loneliness and fear. It's when we take action in our lives that those feelings will stay where they belong and stop overwhelming our daily thoughts. Stay safe and healthy everyone.
- Love Jean-eva