Written By Guest Blogger: Pamela Kelly
As dating continues to evolve, we attempt our best to adapt to the new environment. One thing the dating world could use a crash course on, is manners. Much like dining at a restaurant, there are certain social protocols we are expected to follow, no matter how the environment evolves. Now, unless you actually are a ghost; you’ll be aware that the term in dating refers to never communicating with someone again, suddenly and without warning.
Therefore, ghosting is the dating equivalent of dining and dashing. I love food analogies, so bear with me for a moment. You’ll have the appetizer (a couple dates), and decide you’re not interested in the main course (relationship area). But; once you’ve done more than to just look at the menu (texting, dating app messages), it’s polite to tell the waiter you’re full and pay your bill (say no to another date). Also, don’t be the restaurant (dater) asking for a Yelp review when all you had were appetizers, and on the other end, don’t dine and dash (ghost). Ending something before it has gotten much traction is really quite easy. On the dates where I’ve been out with a guy, but we haven’t crossed over into labels yet, and I’m the one who doesn’t want to go out again, I’ve generally sent a simple text. When I’m being asked out again, I say, “Thank you, but I’d rather not pursue this”. It’s been met with mixed reactions, some gracious, some ignored, and some vulgar messages back. I choose not to engage beyond that. I’ve said my peace to not leave them hanging, not ghost. When someone tells me, they are not interested anymore, I’m not saying it doesn’t sting a bit, but I take it for what it was and leave it be. As someone back on the dating scene, I’m doing my part to restore my old-fangled beliefs that people just like to know if something is done, and not waste their time. After all, it’s impossible that everyone who you meet is going to realize how absolutely amazing you are, and appreciate the unique things about you that make you great. They can’t possibly in 3 or 4 dates. They just haven’t seen enough of it to want to discover more. Same goes for you. You are not going to want to pursue every possibility once you’ve tried it. So, thank you to the men I’ve dated that have had the courtesy to tell me they won’t be returning to my restaurant. It means I can cancel your reservations, and open up a new table. I look forward to meeting someone that wants to make it all the way to dessert.