Do as I say, not as I do. #Ghosting is a nasty result of today's anonymous dating culture, and even "dating experts" like myself can be tempted by the ease of ghosting. In fact, I'm guilty of ghosting someone this weekend! Fortunately, he called me out on it, and afterwards I felt like a complete asshole. Here's the whole story:
A couple Friday's ago I was out dancing my butt off at a friends 30th birthday. I dance a bit like a crazy person, so I was surprised when this very handsome man approached to tell me that I was beautiful, and asked if I would like to dance. I said no, figuring I was the first of many gals he would approach that evening with the same line. As the evening continued, it became evident that was not the case as I caught his gaze several times, and didn't see him approaching any other women throughout the night. Being the matchmaker I am, I left my number with him, not expecting anything to come of it, but if I heard from him again, it would be in a matchmaking capacity.
Throughout the week, we met up two times for a few drinks, we flirted with each other, but it was mostly just him hanging out with someone while he was in town for a couple weeks on course from Ottawa. Since he was from out of town, I figured why not keep him for myself, and we setup a full on date that Friday evening.
The Thursday before our date, we had a few cheeky texting conversations, which one in particular could have been taken several ways, but I chose to take offence. Rather than clarifying I wrote the poor guy off, and instead of calling things how I saw them (which I usually do) I didn't respond to any of his messages late in the day Friday when he was trying to solidify our date that night.
I knew I was being a sneaky little coward, and felt guilty while I was doing it, but I was too far in to turn back. Saturday goes by and I heard nothing from him, Sunday goes by and I think "OK, I'm in the clear". Monday morning I wake up to THE text message. That message, that is kind yet very matter of fact, and I feel instant shame.
"So, was there a miscommunication on Friday or did I read things the wrong way? If you would rather not communicate than let me know and I will stop texting you. Just want to know you intentions"
I felt horrible since Friday and couldn't help but write back, and after a little back and forth we had everything straightened out. Basically, if I had just being a straight shooter from the very beginning, I would not have felt horrible all weekend long. It doesn't feel good to do disrespectful things to other people. Having a tough conversation sucks, but being sleazy will make us feel much worse in the long run. I don't think I'll do that again anytime soon.