Christian Dating: Singleness is Not a Curse, But a Gift - By Paige Veinot - Part 2
As we dive into the world of dating as a Christian, I’m sure you’re wondering, where do we go from here? I’ll begin with a valuable message, which has long been ignored by the church. This is the stepping stone for solidifying a positive mindset around dating, and it starts with looking at singleness not as a curse, but as a gift.
I can assure you that for many years, I did not have this mindset concerning singleness. I definitely cringed at all the “encouraging” messages written (a lot of the time) by married people. Singleness most certainly did not feel like a gift! It was a daunting curse, and I was doomed to be single forever because God didn’t love me, I wasn’t enough, the list goes on. It was only recently, as I truly started to pursue a relationship with God that singleness started to appear like a blessing, rather than something I desperately wanted to escape. From my experience, it is marriage, not singleness that gets celebrated and almost idolized by the Christian community. Though I am sure this is not the case everywhere, it does seem to be a prevalent part of the church culture. Married couples are seen as the ideal leaders.
The season of singleness and it’s unique role seems to be bypassed, or overlooked. There are groups for all ages and seasons, from childhood to university, to married couples, and yet...there seems to be a gap. Once singles are out of university, there doesn’t seem to be much attention within the church to those singles from mid twenties onward. I believe this is in part due to the fact that people get married much later, and have more of a focus on education or career. If you aren’t married, you feel slightly invisible, less than. It’s not like the church does this on purpose, or completely excludes us. Not at all! But with the focus on healthy marriages (which is 100% needed), there doesn’t seem to be much on “how to be single”. What does it mean to be single, and when we look at scripture, what does it say about it?
Many of you probably know Paul’s take on this subject. He never married, and always lamented over those who did marry, saying that the single life was so much easier! Not that singlehood didn’t have challenges, but that there were less distractions from the ultimate goal, relationship with God and living purposefully for Him. Both seasons are gifts from God, and I believe that what Paul is saying is that we shouldn’t waste our time being single. When we become consumed with our relationship status and all that we are “missing out on”, we idolize our singleness, distancing us from our relationship with God. We also miss out on opportunities for personal growth and kingdom work. I challenge you to really consider how you are using your time as a single person. Are you maturing in your relationship with God, and really looking to Him in your day to day decisions?
Next week we will take a look at our relationship with Jesus and why this needs to be the most important thing in our lives as we navigate the dating world.
- Written By: Paige Veinot
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Book Reference - The Dating Manifesto - to get your copy, follow this link: https://amzn.to/33GJAEr